ultra violent light

when i was younger i had in my possession a number of 22 blanks.  when fired from a "wrist rocket" (sling shot) at a hard surface, they made a satisfying bang.  oh, how i long for the simpler days of my youth.  one day i came home from school and found nobody else there.  in my solitude i had a sudden moment of inspiration: the kitchen was equipped with an electric stove that took several minutes to heat up.  i placed a blank on the spiral burner, turned the stove on, and, as a safety precaution, watched from the couch on the other side of the kitchen.  *bang!* *tinkle* *tinkle* *tinkle*

the tinkling was caused by bits of the shell scattering around the kitchen, one somewhere behind me.  this all seemed a bit risky, so i popped open a brown paper grocery bag and set it standing upright on the kitchen table between me and the stove.  as i waited for the stove to heat up again, eric came home and wandered into the kitchen.  delighted, he joined me on the couch behind the shopping bag.  *bang!* *tinkle* *tinkle* *tinkle*

we agreed that the shopping bag, in its current configuration, would only catch shrapnel in one narrow pie slice of the blast pattern.  the bag was inverted over the burner on the next trial, the idea being that all shrapnel would be contained inside the thick paper.  *bang!* *tinkle* *tinkle* *tinkle*

the bag was full of holes - lots of them.  very few shell bits were found inside the bag area.  with the knowledge that the shrapnel was numerous and fast, we looked around for better shielding.  eric pulled out a wok lid, made from fairly thick aluminum, and placed it over the burner.  *bang!* *skitter*

success!  all the shrapnel was contained within the confines of the wok lid.  the lid, however, had lots of little dents in it.  one could make out the shape of each little bit of metal imprinted on the inside surface.  with a feeling of accomplishment, and the knowledge we would catch hell if caught, we decided to call it quits.

after dinner that evening, eric and i helped clear up while eric's mom flo did dishes.  i happened to be watching as she held the sponge in her left hand, reached for the bottle of dish soap with her right, inverted the bottle over the sponge, and squoze.  to my horror, two neat streams of soap, one from each side of the bottle, poured out.  no soap made contact with the sponge.

eric and i stood quietly, trying not to laugh.  flo, who had theories about this sort of thing, informed us that the plastic bottle, being exposed to sun through the window, must have been broken down by the uv light.  eric and i agreed.

had flo inspected the bottle more closely, she might have seen that the holes on either side of the bottle were exactly the same jaggedy shape and orientation.  but i immediately offered to tape over the holes, muttering something about the amazing powers of ultra violet light.